Behind Brown Eyes
by inside12
Summary: While Captain Donald Cragen is away on vacation a new Lieutenant shows up to supervise the squad. Lieutenant Christine McKeon throws everyone for a loop with her cold and callous demeanor. Christine's dark past has influenced who she is today. But when her past begins to resurface she finds herself in a vulnerable spot.
1. Chapter 1

16th Precinct, Monday, August 28, 2006

Lieutenant Christine McKeon aka Chris McKeon scowled as she entered the 16th precinct. Her long curly dark brunette hair tumbled in waves down her back as she walked through the first floor hallway. At 5'4 she didn't seem like a force to be reckoned with but her attitude more than made up for her height. She hid her dark brown eyes behind a pair or dark sunglasses and strolled through the precinct. Her high heeled boots clicked along the tile floor and her tight medium wash jeans framed her long legs. She wore a V-neck black sweater and on her belt her gun and shield displayed.

_Fucking Cragen._ She couldn't help but think to herself. She bit the inside of her lip as she stopped and waited for the elevator. _Fucking Cragen gets to go on vacation and I get the honor of babysitting his perv squad._ She growled lowly which earned her a puzzled look from the officer standing next to her also waiting for the elevator.

"What?" She snipped, her voice laced with a thick Brooklyn accent. His eyes immediately darted to the floor and he shifted on his feet uncomfortably. Chris rolled her eyes and shook her head. The doors to the elevator opened and she stepped in, the uniformed cop remained where he was.

"I'll wait for the next one." He said sheepishly.

"Good idea." She answered as she hit the button for the third floor. The doors slid closed and she rested her head against the cool metal of the elevator behind her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. _Calm down. You can kick Cragen's ass when he comes back._ Chris chuckled softly to herself at that thought.

This had all started a week ago when Donald Cragen had taken her to dinner to catch up. They had first met nearly 19 years ago when Cragen had been the lead detective on her rape case. He had been on loan to Brooklyn SVU when homicides in Manhattan had apparently slowed. When she had been put into foster care Cragen had kept tabs on her and did what he could for her. He had become sort of a father figure and mentor to her. _Like I need another father after what my real father did to me._ She squeezed her eyes shut tighter trying to avoid any thoughts of her childhood.

When Cragen and she had started eating he brought up the topic he knew she would do anything to avoid.

_"When are you going to come work SVU?" Cragen asked as he took a bite of his burger._

_"Never." Chris muttered without a second thought, shoving a french fry in her mouth._

_"Are you going to make me beg you until the end of time?" He asked leaning back and taking a sip of his diet coke._

_"That's the plan." She said with a sigh. The table fell quiet for a minute and Chris tried to pretend she didn't notice the awkward silence._

_"You are perfect for this job Chris." Cragen told her. "With your past…" Chris huffed in annoyance and leaned back in her chair crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at Cragen._

_"Stop, okay? I get it, you've been bugging me about this for years. I'm perfect for SVU because I can relate to the victims I know this." She muttered her eyes moved to focus on an ugly painting on the other side of the room. "I like vice okay? I get along more or less with the assholes I work with." She took a breath and Cragen shook his head and chuckled to himself. "God knows that's an improvement from Narcotics and Transit."_

_"Guess you aren't sleeping with anybody in your unit yet? That's what happened with your other two assignments right?" Cragen asked. Chris rolled her eyes and took another bite of her burger._

_"I was promoted." She answered after a minute in mid chew._

_"Don't talk with your mouth full." Cragen told her. Chris went to open her mouth again and Cragen shushed her. "We both know that's bullshit so don't even argue with me." Chris shrugged and went back to eating. "So are you going to spend the rest of your career dressing up like a hooker and trying to lure Johns?"_

_"I'm really good at it." Chris said sarcastically._

_"Chris, you have talent and you shouldn't be wasting your time in Vice. You're a 30 year old female and a lieutenant in the NYPD, not many others, if any have done that." Cragen told her as she continued to pick at her food ignoring him. "Look I'm going on vacation in a few weeks and…." Chris snapped her head up from her food and nervously looked at Cragen before cutting him off._

_"Oh no, no, no." She told him as she pulled her wallet from her back pocket. "I know where you are going with this and no, I'm not doing it, I'm not going to be the commanding officer of the perv squad while you lay on a beach somewhere." Chris frantically opened up her wallet and pulled out a 20 dollar bill and left it on the table._

_"I'm actually going on a trip to the poconos- no beach involved." He told her with smirk._

_"Yeah well you enjoy that, give me a call when you get back." Chris stood up and pulled her jacket on._

_"It's already done Chris, I put the request in to One P.P. that you take over for two weeks." Cragen told her. Chris frantically ran her hands through her long hair._

_"Well undo it. I'm not doing this." She growled at him. He looked up at her and shook his head. "You are so lucky I left my gun at home." She snarled, Cragen chuckled in response. Chris glared at him for a second longer. "When?" She asked._

_"In a week." He answered. Chris allowed her head to tilt back as she took a breath, her eyes focused on the ceiling._

_"I'm going to One P.P. now to get this changed. I'm not doing this." Chris told him one of her hands on her hip._

_"Do you know a Tom Cosgrove?" Cragen asked her._

_"Why?" Chris asked her eyes falling to the floor._

_"He took the papers from me when I requested you be transferred into my unit. When I mentioned you may not be all that willing he smiled and told me not to worry, that he'd take care of it." Cragen told her._

_"Shit." Chris muttered, knowing that things with Tom hadn't ended well during the brief period they were hooking up and that she was now in fact stuck with SVU for the duration of Cragen's vacation, if she was lucky._

_"Another colleague whose bed you spent the night in?" Cragen asked with a small smile._

_"Something like that." She grumbled in response._

_"I told you not to shit where you eat." He replied taking the last bite of his now cold burger. Chris scowled at him and stomped out of the bar. Cragen shook his head and leaned back in his chair. He knew this was for the best._

The elevator doors to the third floor opened and she walked into the hallway and down to the SVU squad room. She had been here once or twice late at night to talk to Cragen, but never when anyone was around. She took one final deep breath before stepping into the large room to see the empty desks of the detectives who would be working under her. Chris had decided to get there early to get the lay of the land before any of the squad got there.

She turned to the right and walked into Cragen's office and threw her messenger bag on the floor next to the desk and sat down in his chair. Chris closed her eyes and rubbed her temple, still unable to believe she was here. She glanced down at the desk to see a note from Donald Cragen written in scribble. The word "behave" was written in all capital letters with several exclamation points next to it.

"Asshole." She muttered, before pushing away from the desk to get some coffee.

* * *

A/N: Thank you for reading! I really enjoy reviews so drop me a note if you want. I've had this story bouncing around in my head for a while and finally decided to put it down on paper! In the coming chapters we learn more about Chris's past and how she handles SVU. I'm also looking for a beta, let me know if you are interested!


	2. Chapter 2

It was nearing 9 am when the first signs of life came from the squad room. Chris couldn't be bothered to greet anyone as she flipped through one of the many case files on Cragen's desk. She took her final sip of coffee from her mug and went to stand to refill the mug. As she stood she heard a soft knock at the door and turned her head.

"Chris?" Fin questioned, Chris smirked at him and picked up her mug and leaned against the desk.

"Fin." She answered. He glanced at her badge on her belt.

"Last time I saw you, you were a sergeant, lieutenant." He said with a smile.

"Can't stay in one place too long." She supplied her fingers tapping on the glass of the mug.

"Where'd you transfer in from?"

"Vice."

"Wow you really don't stay in one place too long." Fin told her as she rolled her eyes. "No offense, but how'd you end up in SVU?" He asked.

"Cragen." She grumbled. "He's been trying to get me in here for years."

"It doesn't seem like it'd be your thing."

"It's not; you can tell Cragen that when he gets back since he won't listen to me." She told Fin moving past him and into the bullpen to get coffee. Fin followed her and leaned against the wall next to the coffee pot and watched as she poured herself another cup.

"For what it's worth, I backed you when all that shit went down in narcotics." He said quietly. Chris froze and glared at Fin. It had been a long time since anyone had dared bring up her time at Brooklyn North narcotics with her.

"You should get to work detective." She told him breaking the silence and taking a sip of her coffee.

"Still cold." Fin said referring to her personality, as he shook his head and walked to his desk. Chris glared at him a second longer before biting her lip to stop herself from responding.

"Excuse me." A male detective grumbled at her as he literally pushed past her to get to the coffee. She raised her eyebrows in amusement. _He clearly has no idea who he is dealing with. _She eyed him from behind, he was well built, probably early 40s, dark hair, dress shirt and tie, along with suit pants. If she hadn't been annoyed by his demeanor she would have smirked. _I think I found the sexiest guy in SVU. _

Elliot turned around to find the same girl who had been there a minute earlier still there and glaring at him. She was taking small sips from her cup of coffee and one arm crossed over her chest. He failed to notice her badge only taking in her young appearance.

"Can I help you?" Elliot asked, somewhat annoyed that she kept staring at him.

"Nope." She answered popping the "e" at the end.

"Well who the hell are you?" Elliot asked. "You look old enough to be on the job, what? 3 years?" He questioned. Chris smiled and raised her eyebrows at the detective.

"Keep digging yourself deeper detective." She answered. "You don't want to be on my shit list." Elliot stepped in closer to Chris and stared down at the petite woman.

"It would be nice if I knew who you were so I'd know whose shit list I'm on." Elliot growled at her. Fin who had overheard the entire conversation stepped in to end Elliot's humiliation of himself. He walked over and put his hand on Elliot's shoulder attempting to move him back from Chris, who he knew could be touchy about her personal space.

"Detective Stabler this is Lieutenant Chris McKeon, she's supervising while Cragen is out." Fin told him. Elliot looked unimpressed as he turned to look at Finn.

"She's 12." Stabler said to Fin.

"She's 30 and she's standing right here detective." She snipped quickly back. "Watch yourself." She warned Stabler, no longer amused but irritated by the man in front of her. She hated being thoughtless of because she was a female and young. She was smart and capable, and she sure as hell wasn't going to let anyone talk down to her. Stabler glared at her, taken aback by her forcefulness.

"You two know each other?" He asked motioning between Fin and Chris.

"We worked narcotics together a long time ago." Fin answered.

"Why aren't you in narcotics anymore?" Stabler questioned her. Chris watched as Fin opened his mouth to answer Elliot. Her expression hardened significantly and she sent a death glare at Fin who immediately shut his mouth.

"Get back to work." She growled turning on her heel and heading back into Cragen's office and slamming the door behind her. Elliot flinched as the slam of the door echoed through the room.

"Well that went well." Elliot summarized before heading back to his desk. "What giant stick is up her ass?" He asked Fin who had returned to his desk.

"She's an acquired taste, and a bit prickly." Fin told Elliot. Seconds later Elliot glanced at Fin with his eyebrows raised.

"I think that's a generous description of what we just witnessed." Elliot said as he sat down at his desk.

"Just keep your head down, do what she tells you to do, you'll have no problems."

"Yeah." Elliot muttered under his breath. "Because I'm so good at that."

* * *

"Hey El." Olivia greeted as she walked in. Elliot looked up from the report he was currently working on and gave Olivia a small smile.

"The lieutenant in for Cragen is really moody, just watch yourself." He warned.

"What's his problem?" Olivia asked as she sat down at her desk.

"No idea, and she." Elliot paused. "Looks about Maureen's age." Olivia arched her eyebrows in surprise.

"Where'd she come from?" She asked as she began to shuffle her papers around on her desk.

"Not sure, her and Fin have history though, they worked narcotics together years back." Elliot told his partner as he leaned back in his chair. Munch standing nearby and getting coffee stepped over to Elliot and Olivia's desks and stood over them.

"Rumor has it she's from Vice." Munch stated, taking a sip of his coffee. "Cragen requested to have her transferred in here." The three detectives looked at one another in question before being interrupted by Cragen's office door opening. Chris stepped out of the office and pulled on her suit jacket. She ran her fingers through her hair and pulled out her sunglasses before resting them on her head. She approached the group quickly.

"We got a case." She stated as she stopped next to the desks. "Stabler, I want you to come with me to Mercy to talk to the vic."

"I'll go with Olivia, she's my partner." Elliot told her, standing up and grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair.

"I didn't ask for your opinion on the matter, I told you we were going." Chris said rather coldly. The three detectives could only stare momentarily in shock.

"Chris McKeon." Munch finally said breaking the silence. "I've heard about you."

"I'm sure only good things." She stated sarcastically, her eyes narrowing on Munch, challenging him. Chris knew what most of her former colleagues thought of her, nothing good.

"Not really." Munch replied, taking a sip of his coffee, keeping eye contact with the woman across from him. Without breaking eye contact with Munch she smirked darkly.

"Stabler let's go. You drive." She said tossing Elliot the keys. Chris backed out of the room keeping her eyes pinned on Munch before turning and walking down the hallway to the elevator. Elliot glanced at his fellow detectives momentarily before following.

"Good luck." Munch told him as he exited. Olivia waited until they were out of earshot before speaking.

"What the hell was that?" Olivia asked in confusion.

* * *

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	3. Chapter 3

"What the hell was that?" Olivia asked in confusion. "She didn't even introduce herself to anyone."

"Don't take it personally Liv, from what I've heard she keeps everyone at arm's length." Munch told her as he walked back to his desk to sit. Olivia got up from her own desk and followed him, leaning against his desk.

"What have you heard about her?" Olivia asked, crossing her arms across her chest. Munch sighed and leaned back in his chair.

"She's friendly with Cragen, I'm not sure how or why. But she got onto the force at 18, and started in Transit before getting promoted to detective. Once she was a detective she moved into Brooklyn North narcotics and shortly after passed the sergeant's exam and again was promoted. She was in there a couple of years and she was involved in a shootout with one of the city's most notorious drug lords." Munch explained. "Do you remember Javier Vazquez?" He asked Olivia, and she nodded her head yes.

"He was practically running the cocaine business in the city." Olivia said. "He was on the most wanted list for a long time."

"Well she killed him and nearly got herself and her team killed in the process." Munch stated. "But because of how much press it got, they overlooked her recklessness and promoted her again. In exchange she quietly transferred out of narcotics and started in vice, playing dress up as a hooker." Olivia sat quietly on the desk thinking.

"How'd she end up here?" Olivia asked quietly. Fin sat down at his desk across from Munch's and heard Olivia's question.

"Cragen." He answered. The two detectives looked at Fin questioningly. "She told me." He stated.

"Willingly?" Munch quipped.

"We worked together a long time ago." Fin stated.

"I'm assuming in narcotics since you never worked in transit." Munch said to him. "Do you have any idea why she tried to kill herself and several other detectives?" He asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." Fin stated, closing the subject.

* * *

Elliot glanced over at his new lieutenant as they sat in traffic on their way to the hospital. Her eyes were hidden behind her dark sunglasses as she sat cross legged next to him reading a report. They had been in the car in silence for nearly 10 minutes.

"You going to tell me about the case?" Elliot questioned.

"I prefer to ride in silence." Chis told him blankly, not looking up to acknowledging him.

"And I like to know the basic facts of the case before I walk into a room to see a victim." Elliot responded, trying to keep his tone under control. From beside him Chris chuckled slightly her eyes remaining glued to her report. "What?" Elliot asked, failing to see anything humorous in their current situation.

"Nothing." Chris replied and went back to reading the report. Several more minutes went by and when it became clear she wouldn't talk Elliot tried again.

"Well?" He asked, completely confused by her demeanor.

"10 year old girl, grabbed by a stranger driving a black van while she walked to school, he raped her several times and left her in alley uptown." Chris stated with a sigh.

"How long was she missing?" Elliot asked.

"Mother let her leave the house around 7:30 to walk to school. The school called the mother at 11 to let her know the girl hadn't shown, and a good Samaritan found the girl around 11:45 in an alley." Chris answered again not removing her attention from the paper.

"School starts at 8. It took the school 3 hours to realize they were missing a 10 year old?" Elliot asked.

"Some bullshit about their computers being down." Chris grunted. Elliot was now irritated by her attitude and lack of interest in the case.

"What is wrong with you?" Elliot asked. "Do you even care at all about what happened to this little girl?" He asked angrily.

"Cool your jets detective." Chris answered, shoving her papers from her lap onto the dashboard and straightening herself on the seat. "Just because I don't get fired up at the drop of a pin like you doesn't mean I don't care." She paused turning her head to look at Elliot. "I don't let my emotions get involved with the work I do." She told him.

"Well, that's incredibly apparent." He stated, keeping his eyes straight ahead. The car remained silent and Elliot looked over at Chris who was now glaring at him, her sunglasses had dropped on her nose making full eye contact with him. She smiled darkly.

"Oh you ain't seen nothing yet sweetheart." She replied, her accent lacing her words. Elliot continued to glare at her until the car behind them honked signaling him to move forward. He pulled his eyes away from his new lieutenant and stared back at the road. He put his foot on the gas and swallowed. From beside him he heard Chris chuckle, and he knew she was doing her best to make him feel uncomfortable.

* * *

When they arrived at the hospital Chris was the first to exit the car slamming the door behind her. Elliot took a deep breath before getting out of the car, it was going to take everything he had in him not to kill this woman. As Elliot exited the car he realized Chris was already halfway to the doors of the emergency room, he jogged to catch up with her. As he neared her side he grabbed her arm lightly attempting to turn her towards him. She immediately snapped from his hold and pulled her sunglasses off.

"Don't ever touch me." Chris snarled at him. Elliot could feel the anger radiating off of her and he took a step back and held his hands up in surrender. "What?" She snipped. Elliot kept his eyes locked on hers for a second, and even though she was angry, he swore he could see fear in her eyes and her stance was defensive. _Something bad happened to this woman. _"What?" She asked again, her voice slightly softer.

"I was just going to say since this is your first SVU case maybe I should lead on questioning her." Elliot suggested. Chris crossed her arms across her chest and one hip pushed out to the side, negative energy coming off her in waves.

"How long have you known me detective?" She asked him seriously.

"About an hour." Elliot answered.

"Exactly." She told him. Chris stepped in closer her hands still over her chest. "So you don't know anything about me then do you?" Elliot looked down at her and remained silent. "Do yourself a favor Stabler, don't assume anything about me or get in my way. I'm a very capable person." With that Chris turned and continued walking to the doors of the ER. Elliot sighed and rubbed his forehead, inwardly cringing for the victim she was about to speak with. _This could be the day I lose my job when I deck her from traumatizing a little girl even further. _Elliot followed behind her, hands in his pockets, doing his best to remain calm.

Chris walked into the Mercy Hospital emergency room as she had many times before. She made her way to the front desk and pulled her badge from her belt and flashed it at the nurse behind the desk.

"Lieutenant McKeon, Special Victims." She stated, getting a nod from the nurse. "I'm here to speak with Angela Dunne, she's 10." The nurse nodded sadly.

"So sad." The nurse said. "I feel horrible, I saw her earlier." Chris nodded not wanting to engage this woman too much. _I have a job to do, and I wanna get to it. _"They transferred her up to pediatrics on the 4th floor, her mother was with her." Chris tapped her badge on the desk and pushed away.

"Thanks." She told the nurse before heading to the elevator. Chris pressed the up button for the elevator and stood waiting. She could feel Elliot's presence behind her but ignored him. As the elevator doors opened they both stepped in and she hit the button for the 4th floor. She leaned against the wall her arms crossed over her chest as the elevator ascended.

From across the elevator Elliot got his first good look at his new commanding officer. She was definitely pretty—he would give her that. Her high heeled boots made her a couple inches taller than what she actually was and he figured she wore them to be more intimidating.

"Stop looking at me." She told him, her eyes remaining locked on the metallic interior of the elevator in front of her.

"Just returning the favor from earlier, when I was getting coffee." Elliot said with a small smirk. The elevator doors opened and Chris looked at him.

"Get over yourself." She muttered before walking into the hallway. They briefly stopped at the floor desk to find out what room Angela was in. Before being directed to the waiting room where the girl's mother was sitting.

"Mrs. Dunne?" Chris asked the weepy woman in front of her. The woman nodded and stood trying to wipe her eyes in the process. "I'm Lieutenant Chris McKeon and this is Detective Stabler." The woman nodded but said nothing. Chris's heart already hurt, she wasn't sure how Cragen or any of them did this every day. _This is exactly why I stayed away from this unit! _"What's your name?" Chris asked softly.

"Rebecca." The woman said softly between sobs. Chris put her hands on the woman's arms and gently guided her back into the chair she had been sitting in.

"Here sit." She said softly. "Would you like some water?" Chris asked the woman nodded and Chris looked at Elliot who quickly disappeared to get the grief stricken mother a drink.

"I just sent her off to school like I do every day." Rebecca told Chris mid sob. "I should have walked her. But it's only a few blocks; I never thought this would happen." Chris kneeling in front of her grabbed her hand and squeezed tightly.

"We're gonna get him." Chris told her, her dark brown eyes locking with the woman's blue eyes. "I promise you I'm going to find him. He won't ever do this to another girl, and he'll pay for what he did to Angela." Rebecca nodded at Chris's words.

* * *

Elliot followed Chris down the hallway towards Angela's room. After a few minutes of speaking with Rebecca she had given them permission to talk with her daughter who was still in with a doctor. Elliot slowed outside the door and stood next to Chris.

"Are you sure you can do this?" Elliot asked looking down at Chris. Chris glanced up at him.

"Believe it or not I know what I'm doing." Chris answered before pushing the door to the room open, Elliot shaking his head and following behind her. Chris knocked on the wall before approaching any further letting their presence be known. Across the room from them was Angela, a little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes like her mother, curled up and scared in the bed. "Hi!" Chris said with a smile looking at Angela and ignoring the doctor momentarily. "My name is Chris, what's yours?" She asked as she walked towards the girl. Angela clutched the blanket tighter and pulled it up tighter to her chin.

"Angela." Came a soft whisper from the girl.

"That's a pretty name." Chris told her with a smile. She looked up at the doctor who smiled softly at Chris and Angela before stepping back towards the door; moments later she could hear mumbling between the doctor and Elliot. "Is it okay if I sit?" Chris asked, motioning towards the chair beside the bed. Angela nodded and continued to clutch the blanket. "I'm not going to hurt you okay?" Chris whispered to her as she pulled the chair closer and sat down. "I promise." She said smiling again and holding out her pinky finger to the girl. Hesitantly Angela moved her hand towards Chris's and shook pinkies. "Now you know the rule, you can't break a pinky promise." Chris said to her. Angela nodded.

Elliot held the door open for the doctor and shut it softly behind her before turning back to Chris and Angela. The two were talking softly to one another; Angela even had a small smile on her face. Elliot watched as Chris pulled her legs up on the chair and sat Indian style intently listening to the little girl. To say the least Elliot was amazed. Chris was amazing with this little girl and had been amazing with her mother as well. She had a knack, obviously Chris had no idea how to act in everyday situations but with victims, she was a godsend. _Maybe she likes to keep everyone at arm's length, that's why she acts like a crazy bitch. _

"This is my friend Elliot." Chris said to Angela as both girls looked over at him.

"Hi." Elliot said with a smile. Angela nodded before shifting uncomfortably and leaning over to whisper in Chris's ear. Chris listened before turning back to Elliot, her expression much softer than he had seen it.

"Could you get some coffee?" Chris asked. "We have some girl talk to do." Chris said with a small grin looking over at Angela.

"Sure." Elliot responded, opening the door and stepping into the hallway.


End file.
